Between Mind and Heart -WINNER

Between Mind and Heart

“Master, please forgive me!”  The young woman cried.  She sat on her knees on the floor where she had been flung, her arms outstretched to the tall graceful yokai before her.  Tears streamed down her face as she sobbed, her heart breaking.

Sesshoumaru turned his back on the young woman, trying to ignore the effects of her plea for forgiveness, trying to ignore the affects of the kiss she had just stolen.  Trying to ignore the rapid pace of his heart.  Trying to ignore the salty taste of her mouth still on his lips.  The memory of what had just occurred played through his mind as he tried to decide what to do about it.

*Flashback*

Rin had come through his doors in a whirlwind, upset about something.

Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow at the female who had occupied his every moment for the last ten years and waited for her to explain herself.

“Master!  Is it true that you are to choose a wife next month?”  Rin asked in a near whisper.  Her breathing was labored, and he could hear her heartbeat thundering in her ribcage.  Her eyes were wide and startled and brimming with tears, and she clutched at the sides of her robes as she waited for his response.  These startling emotions in the young woman were very uncharacteristic of her and puzzled him exceedingly.  

His brow etched with worry as he thought she might be ill.

“It is true, he responded mildly as he approached her, still examining all of the signs of her distress.

It bothered him that something would upset her so much.  He had spent ten years doing everything to put a smile on her face and her laughter in the air.  He had found, lately especially, that he was only content when she smiled.

He reached her and stood before her, reaching out and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.  

“What has troubled you, Rin?”  He asked, golden eyes locking with tear filled ebony.

He watched as she sucked in a breath and held it, her eyes never leaving his.  He tilted his head slightly as he watched her.  Tears spilled over her eyelids and trailed down her pale cheeks.

“I…I’m…”  She stammered, opened her mouth to speak again, and closed it.  Her heart still hammered in her chest and her breathing became more and more labored.  He watched in stunned silence as a blush formed on her cheeks and she lowered her gaze.

“Please do not choose a wife, Sesshoumaru-sama.”  She whispered so softly that he barely heard the plea.  He frowned as he reached out to raise her chin with a single finger.

Hot tears streamed from her chin, down his finger into his palm and his heart jerked as he saw the pain and shame in her eyes.  She refused to look at him as she continued to cry, not making a sound, though tears flowed freely from her ebony eyes.

“This Sesshoumaru must marry to produce an heir.  You know this, Rin.”  He said softly trying to get her to look up at him.

“But you do not love….”  Her words trailed off as she sucked in her breath again.  He could feel guilt radiating off of her threatening to drive him mad.  

Why does she feel such emotions?  How can I ease her suffering?

“Love is not the issue here.”  He stated, and watched her flinch at his words, still not meeting his eyes.  

His heart jerked painfully at her refusal to acknowledge him.  He suddenly needed her to look at him  He needed to see her smile.

This is madness!  Leave the girl to her foolish emotions!  His rational mind shrieked at him.

“Rin…”  He whispered softly, forcing her chin up a little higher, and bringing his face closer to hers so that she could not ignore him.

She looked up at him then, her eyes full of pain, suffering, and something more…longing?

“I love you Sesshoumaru-sama!  Please do not marry someone!  I know you do not feel the same way, but I could live the rest of my life happily if only you would not marry another while I live out my life!”  She gasped, tears streaming down her cheeks.

He stood, stunned by her confession, unsure of what to say.  Unsure of why her words made him feel light headed and unsure of why his heart was suddenly in his throat.  

She loves me?

“Rin, you will still be with me at the palace.  But now you will have a lady to be friends with.”  He tried to convince her as he was trying to convince himself that daughterly affection was what she meant by love.  

She shook her head, backing away.  “No Sesshoumaru-sama!  I will not stay if you marry.  I could not bare it!”  She declared fiercely.

A darkness enveloped his heart at her words.  She would leave me?

“I will not allow you to leave.”  He stated calmly, still trying to figure out why it mattered so much to him.  If that was what she wanted, then why should he stand in her way?

“You can’t stop me!”  She whispered sharply, her eyes going hard with stubborn determination.  She always had been a determined young woman.

Her words sent an irrational anger shooting through his veins.  He growled low and had her pinned against the wall before she had a chance to so much as blink.

“You will not argue with me woman!”  He commanded angrily, the overwhelming need to keep her near gripping his heart.  

She cannot leave!  His heart screamed, begging him to do anything to make her take back her words.

But even as he fought the emotions burning in him her eyes were suddenly on him, clear of tears and full of something darker.  Something more seductive.  

Her body did not fight against him.  She did not thrash and scream, trying to get away.  She did not tremble in fear or beg for forgiveness.  Instead, her arms slid up his body and locked around his neck.  

“I love you…”  She whispered, her lips so close to his, and then she was pressed against him, her lips pressed to his.

Stunned was not even close to describing the feeling that rushed through the Lord of the West.  He was frozen in place, his heart completely stopped.  His mind blank.  And before he had regained his composure, he found his own arms encircling the young woman, pressing her closer to him as he returned her fevered kiss.

NO!  His rational mind screamed at him, slapping him back into reality.

He hadn’t meant to throw her as hard as he did, but he had needed to be away from her.  He flung her to the side and stood, not facing her, breathing raggedly, trying to make sense of what had just happened.

*End Flashback*

“Master, please forgive me!”  Rin cried out to him desperately.

“This is unacceptable!  I will choose a bride in one month and you will make yourself ready to leave at once!”  He ordered harshly as he walked away, still shaking from the fevered desire surging through him.

*****
Rin had been in the village for a month now, and hated it.  Mother Nature held no joy for her any longer, she made little effort to have contact with any of the villagers and she hardly spoke.  Gone was the urge to sing, laugh, love, live life….gone.  Her heart was broken.    

The villagers, most of them lesser demons, kept their distance from her, knowing that she had come from the palace and that she had done something to gain the master’s disapproval. Though most found her to be a sad, wretched creature, they couldn’t help liking her just the same.

On this day, there was a curious ruckus in the main square and Rin couldn’t help wondering what was happening, so she made her way to the square, keeping her distance as she watched the excited villagers.  Most of the energy bubbled out from the females, and Rin wondered, again, what was going on when the headman hailed the village.

“Silence!”  He roared, and the villagers settled down, all eyes on him, waiting.

“The great Western Lord, Sesshoumaru, is to be married tomorrow!”  At this statement, Rin’s knees buckled and she found herself in the dirt, heart in her throat.

“He will choose his bride from any eligible females that wish to stand before him, and then will marry her that night!”  the headman continued.

A shrill cheer from all of the villagers, and loudest from the females, went up into the air and the villagers scattered, all in a hurry to be ready for the festivities.  Some hoping to be chosen, some hoping their daughter to be chosen, and the rest just excited about the thrill of the rare event.  It wasn’t often that a TaiYokai chose a mate.  It would be an event to be told to their grandchildren’s grandchildren!

Rin sat in the dirt in stunned silence.  She hadn’t thought she had any more tears to cry, but her heart ached at the thought of her Sesshoumaru taking another woman as mate.  And so she cried her heart out, thick tears forming clumps of mud at her knees.

*****
The sun was close to setting as Sesshoumaru made his way to the cliff that he had chosen for his marriage ceremony.  He would choose a bride and marry her on the cliff overlooking the crashing sea as the sun set on the horizon.  He had decided on the location because of Rin.  She hadn’t left his mind for even a second this past month, and he wondered if she was well.  He knew she would think the atmosphere romantic, and as soon as it had occurred to him, he had made up his mind.  The location and setting would be perfect for a wedding.

And yet he could not be happy.

He missed her.

He found himself wondering what she was doing as he made his way up the path.  He could hear the murmur of a crowd as he approached the summit.

Will she be there to watch?  He wondered.

His heart jerked at the thought of seeing her again after so long.

Stop this foolishness!  His rational mind yelled at him. You are not here to see Rin tonight!

He put all thoughts of Rin forcefully to the back of his mind as he approached the clamoring crowd.  

Everyone was there!  All of the villages of his territories were there.  Excitement shivered through them as he made his way silently through them.  They parted as a group, making a path for their Lord as he made his way to the peak, to his choices.  A hush went over them as he approached the marriage circle.  It was laid with colorful flowers, and he could feel the power of the marriage seal embedded in it.  The young hopefuls stood around the outside edge of the circle facing the inside of it.  He made his way into the circle and turned, looking at each woman.  

This is it.  He thought to himself as he began to look over each woman.  He would need to examine each, and sense their powers.  His chosen would have to be strong.  His chosen would have to be beautiful.  His chosen would have to hold herself like a warrior….

He looked over the tight circle of woman and frowned.  He hadn’t expected there to be so many.  There were women of every shape and size awaiting his eye of approval to land on them.  Each was dressed in the finest silk she could get her hands on and each had painted her face in the latest fashion.  He walked slowly, taking in each of the young woman and passing them up when he decided against them.  He spent several moments looking over each, sending little tendrils of power over each, looking for a spark, looking for something that would indicate that this woman might be his choice.  Woman after woman, flaw after flaw, he sent them away, and when he reached the last few he looked over a particularly short girl and stopped.  Something seemed familiar about this little female.  Her head was down, but he was sure it was her!  His heart thundered in his chest as he leaned a little closer, looking at the young woman who refused to look at him.

“Rin…”  He whispered, the name meant to be heard by only her, and the young woman began to shiver.

But as he continued to look at her she began to change right before his eyes.  Within seconds he found himself looking upon the ugliest female he had ever seen.  She still didn’t look up at him, as he examined her but he could see that she was not feminine in the slightest, with broad, square shoulders, and bright, bushy read hair, and then she looked up and Sesshoumaru found himself starring into the green eyes of a ...was it a…a…male!

“I knew it!  You do love her!”  The male stated triumphantly, a smirk spreading over his cocky features.

Anger bubbled up as Sesshoumaru recognized the fox demon standing before him.  His hand shot out and grabbed the lesser demon by the throat.  “What game are you playing at, fox?”  Sesshoumaru hissed at the demon he remembered to be Shippou.

Shippou reached up almost casually and grasped the angry demon lord’s wrist and Sesshoumaru dropped the fox in irritation as his wrist began to burn.

“So nice to see you again too, Sesshoumaru.”  Shippou said in a mocking tone.  “But, I’m not here for you.”  The demon's green eyes darted back to the crowd.

Sesshoumaru followed the gaze in confusion and watched as the crowd parted, each villager looking at one another questioningly, looking for who the fox demon meant to indicate.  And then he saw her.

The young woman stood fuming, ebony eyes glaring at the fox demon.

“How dare you!”  She hissed at him.  “Shippou!  You had no right!”  She was yelling now.

“Rin!  He loves you!  I couldn’t stand seeing you so unhappy!  I had to do it!  When you came to see Kagome I overheard you telling her about what happened and…”  The fox was rattling breathlessly as Rin charged at him.

Rin was mortified!  She had seen Shippou, or rather herself, just as Sesshoumaru turned his attention to him, and it was too late.  She didn’t want the demon lord to know she was there, but now she was stuck.  She considered running, but then found herself aching to know how Sesshoumaru would react to her.  She hadn’t expected his flare of anger and it wounded her pride and aching heart even more.

She charged through the crowd right to Sesshoumaru and dropped to her knees before him.  “Please forgive him, Master.  He is a fool, but he is my friend.  I did not know he was here.”  Rin murmured, still embarrassed almost beyond words.

Sesshoumaru had been frozen in place by the sight of her.  She was thin and looked tired and she looked worn and a little older.  But, her hair was still long and shimmering, and her eyes flashed with the anger and emotion she was feeling.  She was dressed just as all of the other villagers were, but somehow she commanded his attention like none of the others could or ever would.

At that moment something in him gave way and his last thoughts and words of denial were gone.  His decision was made.  

In one fluid motion he bent, grabbed her arm, pulled her to her feet, and pulled her to the center of the circle.

“This is my chosen bride.”  Sesshoumaru toned in his deep masculine voice, and then he looked down into the stunned face of his intended.

He leaned down, gathering Rin into his arms and gazed into her ebony eyes.

“I’m sorry, Rin.  Please forgive me.”  He whispered softly against her quivering lips.

“I love you…”  He barely got the words out when her arms were around his neck and, as the last rays of the burning sun shone over them in bright pink and orange hues, their lips met; the binding powers of the marriage circle swirling over them and through them, sealing them to one another for life.

Loud cries of joy erupted into the air as a joyous celebration of the wedding promptly began.